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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

There's a Frog in My House!

Boring can be a good thing...sometimes I welcome boring...last night the boy woke up at 1:30 am to go out..nothing unusual about that...went to take him out...opened the front door...something moved, jumped, leaped, whatever it was, it moved...looked to see what it was, even opened the screen door for whatever it was to go back out...didn't think much about it til the boy was done doing his business and we came back into the house...to see a frog in the kitchen...sigh...ok..put the boy down grab first thing I see, the dog dish and attempt to cover the frog...of course he was having none of that!! And he hopped off towards the fridge...I explained to him that he had a choice..let me take him outside now or let me pick up froggy bits in the morning...in between all this I saw I had left the front door open so without thinking I quickly went and shut and locked the door...back to the frog who was now by the fridge...I look to the right and see I have an audience of Delilah, dancing around and barking, which of course causes the boy to bark, and kitties watching all of this with quite a bit of interest, a few licking their lips in anticipation of a snack later, ....I don't THINK so! Ok so where is the frog...saw movement again...still headed for the fridge...after thought...turn the light on....sheesh...somehow he went into the grate, then up underneath the door, and ended up IN the fridge...great...frogs legs for dinner tomorrow! No no..clear your head, Lincoln, just get the frog and put him outside...furball covered frogs are just not that appealing first thing in the morning...so I managed to clap the bowl over the frog...ok now what...catalog...grab a catalog! Slide it careful, careful....GOT IT!! Ok, now I have to somehow juggle with crutches, walk over to the door with a frog in a bowl, with a flimsy catalog holding him in there...DRAT!! I shut and locked the door!! What was I thinking?? Ok fine....JIM...JIM JIIIIMMMMMM!! GET UP!! Huh, what??? Just get up and open the door! Oh...what did you catch now?? (He knows me so well) what? oh......a frog...who cares just open the door for Pete's sakes....door open frog let loose on the porch...turned around to a few disappointed kitties, but I don't care. All I know is I don't have to clean up bits and pieces of frog in the morning...Here...have some tuna..Boring...I like boring... could I have a dose of boring today please?

Friday, December 20, 2013

Chin Hair Fairy hooks up...

Ok chin hair fairy...you went and hooked up with the gray hair fairy didn't you? You couldn't just plant your little chin hairs and leave, and by the way thank you SO much for planting that HUGE hair on the side of my chin and making sure it was gray...I was NOT amused! I've been getting a lot of compliments on my hair and you just couldn't stand it could you?? Five days before Christmas you tell the gray hair fairy to get to work on me! I got up this morning, went in to take a shower, looked in the mirror and of course let out a yelp when I saw all the gray roots! IT'S FIVE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I'm going to be in pictures! When am I supposed to take care of this? You KNOW how busy this time of year is....so I guess this year...gray hair fairy and chin hair fairy win... Merry Gray-mas to me.....

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Chin Hair Fairy

Ahhh...chin hair fairy...so we meet again...I'll get you my pretty ugly...and you're little hair planter too!

A trip to the beach, and more of course!

I love the beach...sometimes I just gotta go and get my water fix...Sue called one day and said...we need water...yes we do, and her son, Rich wanted to introduce his soon to be fiancee' Vickie to us...so we planned to go that weekend...and off we went...beautiful day, got our water fix, and now...time for lunch at our fave Irish pub...Fione MCool's. Love their scottish eggs and their desserts...we went in, ordered our lunch, ate quite a bit, (hush Sue), and were just enjoying our time together although I was not happy that Rich insisted I couldn't have dessert cos I didn't eat enough lunch, kept shooing the waitress away when I tried to order...all in good fun of course.......anyhow.....I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom...now at McCool's the bathrooms are on the second floor, and given that I use crutches to walk, I had to flag down a waitress to use the elevator, which I think was built in 1862... It has a gate in front that you slide over then open a door then you go in...now this is not your typical elevator...it's looks like half a box and shimmy's and shakes all over the place, but somebody painted pictures on the wall all the way up, so I was looking at them, and of course thinking of a way to finagle a dessert out of Rich....the waitress below is controlling my fate with a key..she kept yelling up...ARE YOU THERE YET?? No I hollered back...almost tho! KLUNK! Hmmm...well...now that doesn't sound good...she peeks up through the door, and looking down through the crack I can see she was a bit frantic, which of course does not instill too much faith in what's going on..she says..ARE YOU OKAY?? Uhh...yeah, but I'm not at the door...just my head, She yells again...DON'T GO ANYWHERE, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! I shake my head...did she just tell me not to go anywhere??? Alrighty then.I'll stay put if she insists...I hear foot steps running up the stairs, and the door and gate are frantically being tugged on...see...unless the elevator reaches the door, the door won't open. I guess heads don't count as I stood there shaking mine...I finally holler out after the rattling stops,..IS THERE AN EMERGENCY KEY OR SOMETHING TO GET THE DOOR OPEN...silence...HELLO??...silence...and then I hear from below as I look down...YOU OKAY?? Yeah, I'm fine...but boy do I have to go to the bathroom, so I start doing the "I gotta pee" dance while waiting for something...anything to happen! I hear voices outside the door my head is out and finally the gate and door are opened...then one of them says...WAIT RIGHT THERE... again i shake my head...where am I gonna go?? So again, I'm left alone, but at least the door is opened and some fresh air was let in...as I'm standing there I hear...SQUEEK... I look up...there's Jim coming out of the men's room which of course is right across from the elevator...He looks at my head and says...whatcha doin?? He's a man of few words...Just hangin around I replied...fortunately before he said anything else the owner and 2 waiters came up...I lifted my hands and they pulled me straight up..RESCUED! I'M FREE I'M FREE!! They apologized profusely over and over again, and I told them no problem, but excuse me for a sec, went to relieve myself and came out...the owner spoke up...is there anything I can get you??? YUP! Can I have a dessert to go please?? He said of course! On the house! Imagine what I would do for a Klondike bar!

Friday, December 6, 2013

I hate bugs...Especially when they outsmart me.

-No matter how much you want to...you just can't step on a bug when he's swimming in the dog's water dish...even if you take some of the water out and use your husband's shoe..mostly...you just get wet...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I am calling my blog Surviving Myself Gracefully. For those of you who know me, we know that grace is not quite my forte'. Dignity flew out the door probably about the time I was born and tried to come out in the elevator. It seems, a few days ago, I just graduated high school, and had my whole life to plan out. Well,ok in my head it sometimes seems that way, but looking in the mirror and jumping cos some old lady is looking back, I think, whoa! That's really me! So yes, I'm getting older...but then I think...am I getting better? Sometimes most definitely I am..other times...not so much! I would love to know who's idea it was to give us a weak bladder as we age, then toss in some arthritis so 'running' to the bathroom is not quite as easy as it used to be!Sigh...and so it begins.. This blog will have some of the life experiences I've had, some tips on mostly what NOT to do and my view of the world as I see it. Like underwear...a friend of mine, (Thanks Sue), bought me some underwear....this is not something I would usually share with everyone but on the package I was surprised by the claim they made...WEDGIE PROOF! Really?? So if someone tries to give me a wedgie do they get a little shock? ( Oh please I hope not!), Does a little mini mouse trap go off? Or perhaps a little ghost comes out yelling BOO scaring them away from attempting to wedgify someone! Wedgie proof...interesting to say the least...