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Monday, August 4, 2014

The Family That Hunts Bugs Together...

So one night I was in the bathroom washing my face...I looked up in the mirror, looked down, then quickly looked up again. What's that on the ceiling? Drat...darned rain will bring the palmetto's out quickly...apparently this one did not get the message that he will die a horrible death if he enters my house! I think he was about the size of my head...JIM!! JIIIIIMMMMM!! What WHAT? Bug...what? BUG! There's a bug in the bathroom! Get him! Fine...where is he? On the ceiling....well I can't reach him, (as I was reaching for the step ladder), here...I'll shut the door on my way out so he can't get out...slam...crash bang, $&%^#@ is basically what I heard coming from the other side of the door...I said...did you get em?? I open the door a crack...Where is he? Jim gives me his famous puzzled look as he ponders telling me where the not so little critter is...I said again WHERE IS HE??? I knocked him down and he fell into your clothes you have hanging on the rack...MY CLOTHES??? Oh that's it...I shut the door and begin frantically shaking the clothes out...I do NOT want bug goo on my clothes! I shake a piece..toss it in the hamper...shake another...toss in the hamper...sigh...he's gotta be in here, and now I'm ticked at the creature even more...stupid bug...shake toss shake toss...Jim's just watching at this point shaking his head...he says, you're gonna wash all them, even tho they're clean? YUP! Why? Because now they have bug goo on them, and what if it laid eggs? I refuse to wear clothes with bug goo and eggs on them, I've heard stories ya know about bug eggs... do you have a problem with that?? Nope...just thought I'd ask...I'm just shaking my head in wonder that bug goo and eggs did not dawn on him...just find the bug...finally I shake my overalls and the bug falls out scurrying across the floor...hmmm...I forgot to grab something to smoosh him with...so I grab the wastepaper basket...the flimsy wicker wastepaper basket...SLAM SLAM SLAM...Jim in the mean time is trying not to laugh as I'm frantically trying to smoosh this thing with something about as sturdy as a piece of paper...didja get em?? Well..I hurt him but he's still alive...but I think I broke his legs so he can't walk.....gimme your shoe...Why? You have shoes! Heavy sigh... Yes, but I can't toss my shoes in the washer!! Just gimme your shoe!! SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM! The bug is now laying there in an unrecognizable state...Jim looks over and says...geeze...talk about overkill...He grabs some toilet paper since he knows I'm not going anywhere near that mess...and flushes him down the toilet...catastrophe over...as I sat there trying to reshape the basket, Jim says...want me to take your clothes to the laundry room? Sigh, wait...I gotta put these in the wash too....the ones you're wearing?? Why?? I think he splattered on me...Jim just shakes his head, waits while I change and walks out with laundry in tow, looking up to God and muttering something under his breath...he does that a lot...

3 comments:

  1. Lol funny! Thanks for sharing . . . I think! Heeee

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  2. Thank goodness you got him! He could have carried Paddy-Whacks away! Hate BIG flying bugs!

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