Conversations With Jim-The Salt Shaker

So one night Jim and I were in the kitchen. We were getting our plates ready to eat dinner. Jim gets the salt shaker and starts shaking it onto his food. Jim. The salt shaker is empty, where's the salt.. Me. (already sighing because he should know where the salt is). It's in the cabinet next to the stove. Jim After a few minutes I can't find it! Me. Fine, let me get it. Open the door, hello Morton! Sitting right there in the front is the salt. So I turn and hand it to Jim...and did not say one word by the way. Jim..thanks hon... Now..I am not really paying attention at this point to what Jim is doing. He did start to hand me the salt back but I'm sure the look on my face says you can put that back by yourself so he did... Fast forward to a few nights later...Jim is at work and I start to make a pot of rice for my dinner..I get the salt shaker out, noticed it felt a little light, but start shaking it into the pot, thinking surely he put some salt in here....No...Really?? There is no salt in the shaker...oh come on...so basically that night he put a little salt in his hand and sprinkled it on his food and put the salt back probably not even thinking he just might need that salt shaker again..... Fast forward about two weeks after the salt incident...I hadn't said anything up until now but it was just bugging me and I had to know... Me. Jim..a few weeks ago when you asked for the salt because the salt shaker was empty...do you remember that? Jim...yup...why? Me..I'm curious...and I gotta know..when you had that carton of salt out...did it even dawn on you to fill the salt shaker? Jim...blank stare... Me..I mean you're standing there with an empty salt shaker and now you had the carton of salt...did it cross your mind to fill up the shaker? Jim. blank look now turns into a sheepish grin... Me. What's that grin mean? Jim...sheepish grin, now followed by the blanket going over his head I hear a muffled... I got nothin... Me...sigh...things to do today...teach Jim how to put salt in the salt shaker...

TIP OF THE DAY

TIP OF THE DAY... Well...let me explain how I came upon this very useful tip, or tips I should say...last weekend I woke up and came out to the kitchen...turned on the radio, and started the coffee...turned around and noticed Jim hadn't put his soda away...being the very nice person that I am, I decided to do it for him...so I opened up the 12 pack of black cherry soda and, well...maybe this wasn't the brightest move, but it's the way I've always done it...I just kinda tilt the case, pour them out gently and then stack them under the cabinet...then it happened...PSSSSHHHHHHHHHH...right in the face...I searched frantically for the soda that has hit me dead in the face, I ran my fingers through my hair, found the culprit and tossed it into the sink as I grabbed towels, and anything else I could get my hands on to mop up the now pink cabinet, floor and face, shirt and dog...I could still hear the soda in the sink, turned around... DRAT!! the soda was hitting the ceiling which is now the very lovely color of black cherry...(guess this goes with the texture of mashed taters I got up there a few weeks ago)...but def not the color I wanted my kitchen ceiling...finally finished mopping everything up, even the ceiling and dog, got a clean shirt out of the laundry room, and just stood there for a few seconds shaking my head and wondering just what happened, and why haven't I even had coffee yet, Jim walks in...you ok?? Yup...I put your soda away..Nice hair he says as he walks away...he doesn't ask too many questions anymore... TIPS OF THE DAY! Never EVER run your hands through your hair when you just got hit with soda...and NEVER toss the squirting soda into the sink without checking to make sure it's going into the sink and not onto the ceiling...I love my life...really...I do...

TIP OF THE DAY.

..The day started out typical...it's Jim's early day so we were up an hour earlier then usual... he took a shower last night so he wouldn't have to get up early to take one...I got up first, turned on the radio, started the coffee, and went about starting the day...Jim got up a few minutes later ...told him I was gonna take a shower..went in the bathroom, got clean clothes out etc, then I went to turn the water on...sigh...when you take the shower head off it's hook, and then hang it back up always ALWAYS make sure it's not facing the shower door...I let out a yelp...Jim comes in and looks at me...you alright?...I glared at him...he said 'ya know..you really ought to take your clothes off before you get in the shower...you're all wet.....I admire my self control.....

Sweep and Mop...That's all I wanted to do!

SWEEP AND MOP...THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO DO.... Ahhh...sweep and mop the floor day...can't find the cleaning fairy so decided to tackle that bad boy by myself...started sweeping, had the radio on, dancing with the broom and my crutches of course singing at the top of my lungs and enjoying myself as much as you can while sweeping...started to sweep under the island...huh..why won't that scrap of paper move? So of course like when you vacuum I continue to attempt to sweep it rather then bend down and just pick the darn thing up...sweep sweep sweep...ok fine...I'll pick it up...as I bent down...WHAMMO! Hit my head on the island...ok this piece of paper is now the bane of my existence ...as I just klunked my head on the island bending down to get it...ice the bump, and go back to that stupid little scrap of paper...bent down again..this time carefully so as to NOT knock myself out...sigh...the bottom shelf on the island is slatted...it was a tiny little ray of sun making a sunbeam coming from the kitchen window...NOT a scrap of paper...will be making an appointment to see the eye doctor very soon! I just wanted to sweep and mop....that's all...

Conversations with Jim...

Me. Jim, I think our new neighbor, Sam, thinks I'm crazy. Jim...what makes you say that? Me. Well...he couldn't stop laughing when he saw me dancing around trying to get the lizard off my leg. Jim...well..look at the bright side Me. Bright side? Jim...yeah, in 3 months He'll KNOW you're crazy!

Chin Hair Fairy Strikes Again!

Look chin hair fairy...I specifically told you last night to leave me alone...you know I have an appt this morning and just don't have time for your nonsense....but you just had to go there didn't you ya little chicken wing!! Didja have to plant it so deep that it went from my chin to my brain? No wonder I kept scratching my head last night...it was tickling my brain! Sigh....and you just knew tweezers wouldn't work! You're just darned lucky I have wire cutters!! I really don't like you very much right now!!

Contemplating Dinner

Eating dinner last night, I noticed one dog eating Rosemary chicken with fresh spring vegetables. The other had Porterhouse steak with fresh peas & carrots ...I looked down at my plate at the pot pie sitting there...something is really wrong with this picture..